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October 11, 2011 / mandalaymai

“Totes”…when did this become a thing?

You know, I am as guilty as everyone else of using embarassing slang that I am too old to use.  I am also guilty of hypocritically using slang (“as if!”) which I once decried as lame (or possibly “grotty to the max” – wow, really showing my age with that one, huh?)  You know what I mean, you start off saying “bro” or “down with my peeps” ironically and then it stops being ironic and you are just talking like that for real.  What’s even worse is that I have been known to actually say “Bee Tee Dub” instead of “By The Way” even though they have the exact same number of syllables.  Same with “Eye Dee Kay” instead of “I Don’t Know.”  I won’t include WTF in this group, because sometimes that just makes sense.  It’s a smart way of sort of cleaning up your language in front of some people. 

But, lately I have been noticing this “totes” business.  It means “totally” and it’s STUPID.  I saw it first on 2 Broke Girls, but I had to admit I laughed at it there.  Mostly Kat Dennings’ delivery saved it, as it was clear she was using it ironically, mocking a type of personality she didn’t have.  And she did it again on 2 Broke Girls last week, and likewise it was OK.  But tonight, it cropped up on How I met Your Mother.  At this point I say, “No!”  One, because it was Robin who said it and she said it straight.  Not making fun of or mocking people who WOULD say that.  She was just saying it.  Two, she said it to her therapist.  Now, I know that the slang (and the attendant high five) was meant to illlustrate a casual, less than fully professional relationship between Robin and her therapist (played by Kal Penn, who I really like) but it still felt like it was trying WAAAAY too hard.  Three, Robin is supposed to be a grown-ass woman.  Now, I know this is a comedy and that all these people are absurd in their own ways but Robin is the character that was a fifty year old Canadian Man in the mold of her father when this show started.  She drank Scotch and smoked cigars and was very unsentimental.  Now, she’s 25 with a Mom haircut and saying ‘totes?’  Wow, has she gone off the rails or what?  Nevermind that she ends the ep with actually dating her therapist…

OK, now that I am done ranting about that part of the show, I will say that even though Barney’s storyline was a retread of Ted’s storyline from a few seasons ago where he decides that he can’t marry Stella unless she likes Star Wars, I did kind of think it was funny.  In this case, the twist was that Barney thinks Nora is lying about her age because of her cynical attitude about Ewoks (and for the record, I think there is merit to ‘The Ewok Line’ theory) and he has to come to terms with dating a woman a whole thirty-seven years old.  

But, of course, Nora wasn’t lying.  It turned out that there is a loophole to the Ewok Line theory. Or maybe it was just mis-stated.  It should have been, “if you are over ten years old when you first saw the Ewoks, then you will think they are lame and you will be cynical about them.”  Nora DID see them for the first time when she was over ten years old, BUT, she wasn’t over ten years old when Jedi first came out.  She only saw them last year.  I did wonder why Ted wouldn’t have offered this solution as a possibility to Barney, given that his fiance had never seen Star Wars at all until a few years ago.  Stella was a different case, though.  That bitch had the nerve to be cynical about Chewbacca.   Ted should have dumped her right then and there….

Anyway, it was at least entertaining.  But, again not great.  I find myself most interested in seeing what will become of the Ducky Tie.  I want all manner of things to spill on it.  I want it to get caught in a shredder, get lit on fire, dropped in a toilet or urinal and be basically rags before Barney gives up the ghost and tries to get out of wearing it.  Possibly he will get caught cheating on the bet.  Maybe, he will have his taylor negotiate with textile manufacturers and design a more subtle duckie pattern that will be less offensive.  This is Barney, so nothing is too elaborate.  That would be fun….

In the meanwhile, I will take this “light” version of How I Met Your Mother. What else am I going to do until 2 Broke Girls comes on?  If I miss THAT I really will be “totes bummed.”  From the previews it seems that tonight’s ep features a closet that I would “totes” Repin, were it on Pinterest.

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